Piecing together the perfect man
I've devoted a bit of blog space lately to discussion of my "type" (or lack there of), and, in fact, in the past several months the topic has come up surprisingly often with my friends of what we're looking for. What, or who, is the perfect guy (or girl if you go that way)? It's been asked more times than I can count.
In my latest favorite movie (P.S. I Love You), a confused man asks the woman he's interested in what it is that women want and she responds that women have no idea what they want. While that may be true much of the time, we often think we do until we meet someone who doesn't meet any of the criteria and yet we want them anyway. So here, for posterity, is a list of the things I think I want, as embodied by my favorite characters from film and television.
This guy:
That would be Chase Hammond (from the film Drive Me Crazy, written by the incomparable Rob Thomas of Veronica Mars fame), not Adrian Greiner or his more famous character Vincent Chase. What makes Chase Hammond the perfect guy? Lots of things, loyalty, not taking anything (including himself) too seriously, he likes punk rock and baseball, he has a lot of great qualities, but what makes him perfect is his idea of the perfect date. First of all, when he's asked what his idea of the perfect date is, he asks if they mean "date" as in a person or a series of events showing that he has a great appreciation for the intricacies of language (which is another great quality), when it is clarified that they mean the person he says this, "She's the kinda girl that will call you on your bullshit. She isn't afraid to dance and she offers to pay. She doesn't decide before a date whether or not she's going to kiss you; she's not totally earnest, yet she's not completely ironic either...she orders dessert and she can be ready in ten minutes". You have to love that answer.
Next we have this guy:
Not to be confused with this guy:
Which is to say Marc Darcy from Bridget Jones Diary, as opposed to Mr. Darcy of Pride and Prejudice fame, though they bear striking resemblance to each other, not just because both were played by Colin Firth. Mr. Darcy has his moments of perfection as well, as, I'm sure, does Colin Firth, but Marc Darcy has one specific element of perfection that I'm interested in. Marc Darcy likes Bridget Jones just as she is and he tells her so. That's it. That is what makes him perfect. Okay, he's not bad to look at (even in this hideous sweater), and he's a successful lawyer, and not a skeezy corporate lawyer but a Human Rights lawyer, and he's clearly very close with his family, and he's thoughtful, and kind, and he cooks...all good things, but what makes him absolutely perfect is the fact that he's not afraid to tell the girl that he likes her, even though he knows she's sort of involved with someone else who, by the way has already stolen one woman he loved. It's really hard to tell someone that you like them. Sometimes you have to because not telling them is harder, but even then it's still not easy to say, knowing the possible result (even likely result) is rejection.
Look back in the archives and you'll find I have a thing for fictional bad boys. Normally I wouldn't claim that any of those characters are embodiments of perfection since they tend not to have qualities that I look for in real life men (in fact their most appealing quality, their reformation for the love of a good woman, doesn't exist in real life men), but there's one exception.
This guy:
Okay, he's a vampire, and pretty much devoted to murder and anarchy (until he gets his soul back in season 7), but the soulless vampire thing is fiction, like the desire to reform his bad boy ways for the love of a good woman. He does have some traits that are attainable in real life. Primarily a sort of focused devotion. I'll admit that this particular quality can become overbearing, or irritating, especially if it's coming from someone you aren't interested in, but when it's coming from someone you are interested in it's kind of perfect. When Spike loves a woman she is the center of his universe, he'll do anything for her. The other thing he's got that's irresistible is the ability to make anything he says sound like a come on. Again, it's a quality that could come off as creepy, but somehow he manages not to cross that line. Also, he writes poetry and uses words like effulgent.
While we're in the Buffyverse there's another perfect character:
Like most of these paragons of male perfection, Oz has many great qualities. He plays bass in a rock band. He's a genius. He's unflappable. And he notices Willow for the first time when she's dressed head to toe in fur (in an Eskimo costume) which I suppose is evidence of his unique taste, not just in women, but in all things. However, I mostly like him for his dry wit. You can never underestimate the power of a good sense of humor.
While we're on the subject of sense of humor, I have to mention this guy:
Hilarious, yes, but that's not the only thing he's got going for him. Look at his hands. They're perfect, and he talks with them. I have to love a guy who talks with his hands. Also, he gets adorably flustered when his guests unexpectedly start talking about sex, but that's just a bonus. Mainly it's the talking with his hands thing.
Saving the best for last we have this guy:
Pacey actually has all of the great qualities I've talked about and I don't need to reiterate them. Instead lets get specific. One of my favorite episodes of Dawson's Creek is called Stolen Kisses (it's season 3, episode 19). It's the episode where Pacey and Joey finally get together. Joey tells Pacey something like he makes her feel alive and he responds by announcing that he's going to kiss her. He says that, in about 10 seconds, he's going to kiss her and if she doesn't want him to then she's going to have to stop him. Now, on the surface, that may sound like a sort of neanderthal think to say, but it's really not, when you consider that he could have just grabbed her and kissed without saying anything. The announcement gives her the opportunity to walk away if she doesn't want to get kissed. You might say that asking if you can kiss her is the better route to take, and it's certainly more polite, but confidence is attractive and asking if you can kiss someone shows a lack of confidence.
While Barney is awesome, always well dressed, loyal, he'll do anything for his friends, he knows the retail price of everything under the sun, and he's totally hot, he's also kind of a nightmare with women. So, he gets an honourable mention, but he doesn't make the list.
In my latest favorite movie (P.S. I Love You), a confused man asks the woman he's interested in what it is that women want and she responds that women have no idea what they want. While that may be true much of the time, we often think we do until we meet someone who doesn't meet any of the criteria and yet we want them anyway. So here, for posterity, is a list of the things I think I want, as embodied by my favorite characters from film and television.
This guy:
That would be Chase Hammond (from the film Drive Me Crazy, written by the incomparable Rob Thomas of Veronica Mars fame), not Adrian Greiner or his more famous character Vincent Chase. What makes Chase Hammond the perfect guy? Lots of things, loyalty, not taking anything (including himself) too seriously, he likes punk rock and baseball, he has a lot of great qualities, but what makes him perfect is his idea of the perfect date. First of all, when he's asked what his idea of the perfect date is, he asks if they mean "date" as in a person or a series of events showing that he has a great appreciation for the intricacies of language (which is another great quality), when it is clarified that they mean the person he says this, "She's the kinda girl that will call you on your bullshit. She isn't afraid to dance and she offers to pay. She doesn't decide before a date whether or not she's going to kiss you; she's not totally earnest, yet she's not completely ironic either...she orders dessert and she can be ready in ten minutes". You have to love that answer.
Next we have this guy:
Not to be confused with this guy:
Which is to say Marc Darcy from Bridget Jones Diary, as opposed to Mr. Darcy of Pride and Prejudice fame, though they bear striking resemblance to each other, not just because both were played by Colin Firth. Mr. Darcy has his moments of perfection as well, as, I'm sure, does Colin Firth, but Marc Darcy has one specific element of perfection that I'm interested in. Marc Darcy likes Bridget Jones just as she is and he tells her so. That's it. That is what makes him perfect. Okay, he's not bad to look at (even in this hideous sweater), and he's a successful lawyer, and not a skeezy corporate lawyer but a Human Rights lawyer, and he's clearly very close with his family, and he's thoughtful, and kind, and he cooks...all good things, but what makes him absolutely perfect is the fact that he's not afraid to tell the girl that he likes her, even though he knows she's sort of involved with someone else who, by the way has already stolen one woman he loved. It's really hard to tell someone that you like them. Sometimes you have to because not telling them is harder, but even then it's still not easy to say, knowing the possible result (even likely result) is rejection.
Look back in the archives and you'll find I have a thing for fictional bad boys. Normally I wouldn't claim that any of those characters are embodiments of perfection since they tend not to have qualities that I look for in real life men (in fact their most appealing quality, their reformation for the love of a good woman, doesn't exist in real life men), but there's one exception.
This guy:
Okay, he's a vampire, and pretty much devoted to murder and anarchy (until he gets his soul back in season 7), but the soulless vampire thing is fiction, like the desire to reform his bad boy ways for the love of a good woman. He does have some traits that are attainable in real life. Primarily a sort of focused devotion. I'll admit that this particular quality can become overbearing, or irritating, especially if it's coming from someone you aren't interested in, but when it's coming from someone you are interested in it's kind of perfect. When Spike loves a woman she is the center of his universe, he'll do anything for her. The other thing he's got that's irresistible is the ability to make anything he says sound like a come on. Again, it's a quality that could come off as creepy, but somehow he manages not to cross that line. Also, he writes poetry and uses words like effulgent.
While we're in the Buffyverse there's another perfect character:
Like most of these paragons of male perfection, Oz has many great qualities. He plays bass in a rock band. He's a genius. He's unflappable. And he notices Willow for the first time when she's dressed head to toe in fur (in an Eskimo costume) which I suppose is evidence of his unique taste, not just in women, but in all things. However, I mostly like him for his dry wit. You can never underestimate the power of a good sense of humor.
While we're on the subject of sense of humor, I have to mention this guy:
Hilarious, yes, but that's not the only thing he's got going for him. Look at his hands. They're perfect, and he talks with them. I have to love a guy who talks with his hands. Also, he gets adorably flustered when his guests unexpectedly start talking about sex, but that's just a bonus. Mainly it's the talking with his hands thing.
Saving the best for last we have this guy:
Pacey actually has all of the great qualities I've talked about and I don't need to reiterate them. Instead lets get specific. One of my favorite episodes of Dawson's Creek is called Stolen Kisses (it's season 3, episode 19). It's the episode where Pacey and Joey finally get together. Joey tells Pacey something like he makes her feel alive and he responds by announcing that he's going to kiss her. He says that, in about 10 seconds, he's going to kiss her and if she doesn't want him to then she's going to have to stop him. Now, on the surface, that may sound like a sort of neanderthal think to say, but it's really not, when you consider that he could have just grabbed her and kissed without saying anything. The announcement gives her the opportunity to walk away if she doesn't want to get kissed. You might say that asking if you can kiss her is the better route to take, and it's certainly more polite, but confidence is attractive and asking if you can kiss someone shows a lack of confidence.
You may wonder, if you know me, why I didn't include this guy:
While Barney is awesome, always well dressed, loyal, he'll do anything for his friends, he knows the retail price of everything under the sun, and he's totally hot, he's also kind of a nightmare with women. So, he gets an honourable mention, but he doesn't make the list.
posted by Beth at
6:21 PM
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