Fatherhood
I went to see Jersey Boys last weekend and this weekend I saw my dad's band play. What do the two have to do with each other?
Parents have to make difficult choices. In the play, and presumably in real life as well, Frankie Valli spent most of his time out on tour. He had to provide for his family and his voice was a better way to do that than breaking and entering.
My dad has an amazing voice. He may not have the range that Frankie Valli has (who does really), but he's a great singer. He sings 'Bring it On Home to Me' better than Sam Cooke. He's very talented and I believe he could have been a huge star.
My dad may be a great singer but that's nothing compared to how great he is at being a dad. He was always there for me. If I got sick at school and needed someone to pick me up my dad came. He took me to my dance lessons and doctor appointments. He was there, unlike Frankie Valli. All I ever had to do was call and he was there for me.
Of course, my dad had to be there because my mom was in law school and then an associate when I was young, so she worked really long hours. Of course she still made it to all my birthdays and dance recitals (she even made costumes when the occasion called for it) so it wasn't a gender bended Cat's in the Cradle situation, but she did sacrifice spending more time with her kids in order to provide for them.
Parents make sacrifices for their kids. Frankie Valli sacrificed time with his kids so that he could provide for them and so that when he did see them it wouldn't be with bullet proof glass between them.
I say that parents make sacrifices for their kids as though it's a given, but the truth is they choose the sacrifices they make. Many parents, too many, choose other things over their children's needs.
My parents divorced when I was too young to remember them ever having been married. For all of my childhood I had no idea that their divorce was anything but amicable. My brother probably saw the subtext under their friendly veneer because he was older, but I always thought they were good friends still. I don't know what it cost them to make me feel like, despite being a child of a "broken home" I was still part of a family who all loved each other (if not in the traditional ways). It amazes me now that I know the whole story, that they were able to give me that. They chose to be civil to each other which often times divorced parents can't manage to do.
I don't know if my dad was ever offered the opportunity to tour when I was a kid because I've never asked him for the specifics. I do know that he's a pretty successful musician locally and has toured a bit recently (since I've been an adult). As I said, I believe that if he had toured in his youth he could have been a big star. I don't know if even wanted that life, but I believe he could have had it and I know that at least part of the reason he didn't go that route (if not the sole reason) was so he could be there for his kids. Every time I hear him sing I feel so lucky that even with the talent he has he chose to be there for me.
Parents have to make difficult choices. In the play, and presumably in real life as well, Frankie Valli spent most of his time out on tour. He had to provide for his family and his voice was a better way to do that than breaking and entering.
My dad has an amazing voice. He may not have the range that Frankie Valli has (who does really), but he's a great singer. He sings 'Bring it On Home to Me' better than Sam Cooke. He's very talented and I believe he could have been a huge star.
My dad may be a great singer but that's nothing compared to how great he is at being a dad. He was always there for me. If I got sick at school and needed someone to pick me up my dad came. He took me to my dance lessons and doctor appointments. He was there, unlike Frankie Valli. All I ever had to do was call and he was there for me.
Of course, my dad had to be there because my mom was in law school and then an associate when I was young, so she worked really long hours. Of course she still made it to all my birthdays and dance recitals (she even made costumes when the occasion called for it) so it wasn't a gender bended Cat's in the Cradle situation, but she did sacrifice spending more time with her kids in order to provide for them.
Parents make sacrifices for their kids. Frankie Valli sacrificed time with his kids so that he could provide for them and so that when he did see them it wouldn't be with bullet proof glass between them.
I say that parents make sacrifices for their kids as though it's a given, but the truth is they choose the sacrifices they make. Many parents, too many, choose other things over their children's needs.
My parents divorced when I was too young to remember them ever having been married. For all of my childhood I had no idea that their divorce was anything but amicable. My brother probably saw the subtext under their friendly veneer because he was older, but I always thought they were good friends still. I don't know what it cost them to make me feel like, despite being a child of a "broken home" I was still part of a family who all loved each other (if not in the traditional ways). It amazes me now that I know the whole story, that they were able to give me that. They chose to be civil to each other which often times divorced parents can't manage to do.
I don't know if my dad was ever offered the opportunity to tour when I was a kid because I've never asked him for the specifics. I do know that he's a pretty successful musician locally and has toured a bit recently (since I've been an adult). As I said, I believe that if he had toured in his youth he could have been a big star. I don't know if even wanted that life, but I believe he could have had it and I know that at least part of the reason he didn't go that route (if not the sole reason) was so he could be there for his kids. Every time I hear him sing I feel so lucky that even with the talent he has he chose to be there for me.
posted by Beth at
11:15 PM
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