Goodbye

I went to a memorial service today for a friend who passed away last week. I found out that she'd passed from status messages on facebook and I wanted to be angry about that but I could really only be mad at myself because she'd been sick and I hadn't been to see her. At first I didn't go to see her because I had a sinus infection and her immune system was compromised by chemo therapy. When she decided to stop the treatment I still didn't go to see her though. The truth is that I was afraid to see her sick.

I know it's a cliche, that everyone says things like this when someone dies, but this woman was truly exceptional. She had a wicked (often dirty) sense of humor and the most amazing and infectious laugh. She was just so full of life that I couldn't imagine that life leaving her and I didn't want to see it.

Of course now I'm forced to face the fact that I didn't get to say goodbye to her because of my own stupid fear.