Elusive talent

Did you ever feel like there was something you should be doing, but you could quite put your finger on what it was? Lately I feel that way all the time. I guess it's a more pervasive thing, like there's something I should be doing in general, with my life, and I don't know what it is.

There's been one thing in life that I felt like I was really good at, that came naturally to me. I went to college with every intention to major in it but it didn't feel right and I'm a person who generally follows those instincts. That college that I went to, sure they had a really good program in what I wanted to study but I went there because when I first came to visit the campus I felt like that was where I should be and that was enough for me.

I know I'm being unconscionably vague here, and I'm not sure why. As open as I am about most things, as I actually pride myself on being, I don't tell very many people what it is that I consider my one talent. It's not like it's embarrassing, I mean if it's something you can major in at university it couldn't be, but it's just personal, something I keep close. Also, it's not like I don't talk about it at all. If you know me for long you could easily put it together. I think I've even mentioned it here once. I just don't often tell people that it's the one thing I've felt I was really good at.

There are other things that I can do relatively well. I'm good at arguing, giving advise, buying the perfect gift, cooking. I'd like to think I'm okay at writing. It's just that all of those things require a lot of effort...well...maybe not buying perfect gifts, but that's not really skill. In general though, the other things I'm good at all require a great deal of effort for me. I feel like there is something else out there that I should be doing, that will come naturally to me, be easy, and I'll be good at it. Or maybe it shouldn't be easy, maybe I should be doing something that doesn't come naturally. Maybe it should be hard. I don't know.